For Doe
by Forever Siriusly Sirius
Summary: When a heart breaks it don't break even. / In which Dorcas dies and Marlene is left alone to cope with her best friend.


**For**: HG training round.

**Characters**: James Potter, Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes.

**Prompts**: (used more for inspiration) "You are not weak, just because your heart feels so heavy."

**Warnings**: Character death, mourning, implied violence.

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><p>Alone was not a place a person generally wanted to be when they were in the middle of a war zone. Especially not when you were both injured and a target. Yet that's exactly the situation Marlene McKinnon found herself in one fateful October morning in 1978. Marlene crawled as best as she could with what was probably a broken leg, and numerous other bloody wounds littered all over her body, through the rubble of the collapsed building to where her best friend lay, broken and bloodied.<p>

Dorcas and Marlene had been on Order duty, sitting in this Muggle pub which was across the road from a suspected Death Eater hang out, when suddenly the building had collapsed on them. Eerie screams of panicked Muggles rang through the air, and combined with the maniacal laughter of the Death Eaters who swarmed the place it seemed to Marlene like she was living a nightmare. Breathing ragged, she finally, albeit painfully, arrived at her best friends' side. Doe's body was mangled, every inch covered in blood, with her limbs sticking out at odd angles and her face almost unrecognisable. Even without checking for a pulse, Marlene knew that Dorcas was dead. Shock overtook Marlene as she stared at her best friend in disbelief. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be real. There was no way the fates could be so cruel as to separate Doe from Marlene. Surely they wouldn't claim one without the other? They couldn't take away Marlene's anchor and leave Marlene alone. It was impossible that they would steal Marlene's best friend from her; the girl who had a way of getting Marlene to open up when no one else could, the girl who pulled Marlene back down to earth and called her out on her bullshit and who was just always there for Marlene when she needed her. They just couldn't tear her away from Marlene like this. The idea was confounding, ludicrous even. Yet that was exactly what they did.

Leaning over Dorcas, Marlene shook her friends shoulders, trying to fight the tears that threatened to spill down her face. "Open your eyes, Doe," Marlene pleaded, desperation and denial making her voice thick. "You can't fucking die on me. You can't leave me here alone, do you hear me?_ Wake up._"

Almost shouting her last words, Marlene's floodgates finally broke and the tears cascaded down her face like a rushing waterfall of pure emotion. Dorcas wasn't waking up, and Marlene knew she never would. Two fingers on Doe's pulse point confirmed that. The tears fell thick and fast, and Marlene's body shook with unrestrained sobs and she pleaded one last time, her voice barely above a whisper, "_Please_."

Desperately she pleaded, voice trembling with fear because how could she survive without Dorcas? She pleaded and pleaded, thinking that maybe if she told Dorcas to wake up enough times then she would. Deep down Marlene knew it didn't work like that. She knew that Dorcas was never waking up, but she couldn't help but hope. Pray that it was simply a cruel trick.

What was she supposed to do without Dorcas? Sure, Marlene had James, who was still one of her closest friends, and she had Lily and Mary and all her other friends; but they weren't Doe.

Debris was falling all around Marlene, but she didn't care anymore, she couldn't leave Doe. She just couldn't. Leaving Doe meant accepting she was dead, and Marlene didn't want to do that. Minutes passed that felt more like hours, until strong arms hooked under her arms and lifted her up, despite her screaming protests. James cradled Marlene close, ignoring how she struggled against his grip and demanded to be put down, to be left by Dorcas's side.

"She's dead, Marley," the boy, for that was all he was really, just a boy who had been thrown into a world of war and pain and forced to grow up too fast, choked out. Dorcas might not have meant as much to him as Marlene or Sirius did, but she was still his friend and her loss hurt. But he had to be strong, he had to help Marlene through this because he knew whatever pain he was feeling, she had it ten times worse. Dodging the falling debris, James eventually made it outside to relative safety where he set Marlene down and waited for one of the healer's who had arrived with the rest of the Order to come over. He took Marlene's tear streaked face in his trembling hands, forcing her to look him in the eye.

"You gotta be strong, okay?" he said firmly, trying to keep his voice from shaking. "She wouldn't want you to just give up. You're Marlene bloody McKinnon, remember?You're a fighter. I know it hurts, but we'll get through this."

Marlene took deep breaths, focusing on the sound of James's voice to calm her down. Losing Dorcas left a gaping hole in Marlene's heart and she wasn't sure it could ever be mended, but she knew James was right. She had to try. Resisting the urge to say I don't want to be strong, because breaking down seemed like the easier option, Marlene bit back her tears and nodded her head. "For Dorcas," was all she said, and it was enough. Those words were a promise to herself, and to Doe, that she wouldn't lose it, that she would at least try to keep herself together, because she was Marlene bloody McKinnon, and she'd be damned before she ever let the Death Eaters get the best of her.


End file.
